Birds Probably Sang

Today, as I have done for several days (when not food poisoned—thanks Mom—and trapped underground—thanks, CTA—and walking along narrow paths through dark and dirty rat infested subways with my stomach in a knot), I called some of my beloved class members regarding the litigation notice they received in the mail. These are people who were mildly screwed by a particular business and have the right to take part in the very mediocre settlement. And it’s part of my job to tell them that they’ll be getting a whopping $16 next year if they fill out a claim form and mail it in by next March. As per usual, the range of responses has been dismissive to elated.

“Hey now, sixteen dollars is a lot when you got nothin’, ya hear?”

In addition, I did get harassed a bit by a jealous husband who was wondering why a man with a voice as smooth and cool as yours truly’s was calling his wife, but the was not the worst. I dialed, I listened to rings, I waited for the message. The woman, with a sad and serious voice, asked me to leave my message “after the burp” and yes a belch did follow. People are so fucking disgusting.